L.L. Diamond

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I have another Agony and Hope scene for you! Yay! I believe I mentioned on social media that I had rewritten the end of the story because it was too long between the engagement to the wedding then the end. When I did so, we lost a bit on the back end. I tried to move a bit around, so a few lines may be familiar from the argument later in the book between Darcy and the earl. In the earlier version, Darcy and Elizabeth were wed at Pemberley before returning to London to tell the Gardiners of their good health. My daughter revolted and insisted that wouldn’t work. I agreed with her so that bit was rewritten during edits. Other than knowing of a secondary pairing, I’m not sure there’s a spoiler involved. I’ve told everyone there’s an HEA and you know Elizabeth is alive, so I’m not offering a spoiler warning 🙂

In the original draft, this scene occurs after their return to London. Darcy and Elizabeth are wed and Richard and Jane are courting. I have not altered anything to fit the final edit of the book. I have left it as is, so this is completely unedited. Sorry for any errors!

Happy Reading!

Chapter 24

Darcy descended the last step then tugged at the bottom of his topcoat as he glanced about the hall. He had not attended the theatre since Georgiana begged him to take her last Season, but when he mentioned the Theatre Royal at Drury Lane was putting on a production of the Taming of the Shrew, the light in Elizabeth’s eyes convinced him to put aside his desire to keep her to himself and whisk her away to the theatre.

In the month since they returned, they dined with Jane and Richard most evenings, but for the most part, they spent a prodigious amount of time together. Elizabeth and Jane had met with Madame Villers to be fitted for what little spring weather remained as well as for the summer months. They both also purchased fabrics for winter gowns and embroidery supplies to pass the time. Elizabeth selected materials for her rooms at Pemberley as well as Darcy House, though Mrs. Northcott would not begin redecorating until they departed for Pemberley in a fortnight, after they attended Miss Mary’s wedding.

As he made to enter the library to wait upon the ladies, a knock at the door made him pause. Butler was swift to admit Richard, who shook his great coat and removed it, allowing Butler to hurry away with the damp garment. “The fog is thick and has made the chill of the evening a penetrating one. I daresay a certain amount of the cold will remain into May. The weather simply has not warmed as I had hoped it would by now.

“Yes, I was surprised by the chill in the air when I visited my solicitors yesterday.”

Richard chuckled as he followed Darcy into the library. “Perhaps you and your wife should venture from the house more. Her maid accompanies Jane and me on our walks in the park since the two of you remain sequestered more often than not.

“Elizabeth spends time with her sister every day.”

His cousin held up his hands, palms forward. “Do not become offended, Darce. I am merely teasing. Jane has spoken of their time together as well as how she has urged her sister not to feel obliged to her.”

Darcy’s shoulders relaxed, and he lifted his eyebrows. “Jane? Do you have a request to make, Cousin?”

With a smile, Richard’s crooked grin was enough to answer Darcy’s question. “Jane is of age, but I journeyed to Gracechurch street this morning and spoke to Gardiner.”

“Did you?” Darcy sat in a chair and crossed his ankle over his knee. “What did he say?” He was genuinely curious. Mrs. Gardiner regularly visited both Jane and Elizabeth and shopped with them for fabrics, but Gardiner seemed content with Jane remaining Darcy’s responsibility. Not that Darcy minded. They simply had not discussed the matter.

“He indicated you should be applied to for the honour, though he did give his blessing.” Richard sat across from him and mirrored his position with the exception of his foot bobbing in a constant motion—his only outward sign of his agitation. Darcy could not help but smile at the sight of a former colonel in the Regulars nervous at the prospect of applying for a lady’s hand. His cousin had never been one to show his unease, even when he left for the peninsula to fight Napoleon’s army, but to be felled by a simple question was too amusing to overlook.

A low, easy laugh escaped before Darcy could stop it. “Do you love her?”

His cousin let out a growl and shifted as if he still wore a sabre at his hip. “I should have known you would be an arse about this.”

“I hope you do not speak so before your betrothed.” Darcy’s shoulders shook while he held in his amusement. He so seldom had this sort of opportunity. “You did not answer my question.”

Richard picked an imaginary piece of lint from his trousers, refusing to meet Darcy’s eye. “What question?”

“Do you love her?”

“Yes,” said Richard forcefully. “Are you pleased?”

“Yes, thank you, though you surrendered much sooner than I would have thought.”

“With Jane or with this conversation?”

“Both.” He cleared his throat in an attempt to stop laughing. “Have you told her you are in love with her?”

“Yes, not that it is any of your business.” He tugged at his cuffs.

Darcy pressed his lips together and reined in his amusement. “Forgive me for finding humour at your expense.” He blinked a couple of times. How best to say this? “You are a good man, a good cousin, an esteemed friend. You are more loyal than most I know and will put yourself in harm’s way to ensure those you care for are unharmed. You are not reticent, by any means, but you do not share your feelings with ease. When I asked if you told Jane, I wanted to know if you could speak to her of matters close to your heart. I am glad to know you trust her enough to share your concerns. You have my blessing and consent.”

Richard shifted in his seat and cleared his throat. “Thank you.” He picked at one of his fingernails before meeting Darcy’s eye. “And, yes, I can speak to her. I told her of Carlisle.”

“What did she say?”

“She understood why I was uncomfortable with the title and my position, yet she convinced me to be more accepting of it all since Carlisle will never return.”

If Jane had been successful at his cousin finally accepting what his aunts and Darcy had been saying since the announcement of Carlisle’s supposed death, then she would be good for him. “Did she tell you about Bingley?”

Richard rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Bingley never deserved her, yet I disagree with your actions at the time. If I had known her when you told me of separating Bingley from an unsuitable lady, I would have hit you without holding back for hurting her. You were wrong, even though I believe you did her a tremendous favour.”

“I did tell Bingley of my interference at Pemberley. He claimed he would return to Hertfordshire for her, but never did. I am certain Miss Bingley heard of the family’s predicament, which was why she insisted upon him giving up the lease to Netherfield.” Bingley had been weak willed. He did not deserve someone as good and kind as Jane Bennet.

Musical laughter sliced through the heaviness of the conversation and beckoned to him. At her appearance in the doorway, he stood and welcomed Elizabeth with an outstretched hand to draw her close. A lingering kiss was bestowed to her knuckles as he drank in her beauty. Her eyes sparkled and her complexion glowed. The gauzy crimson fabric of her gown brought a bit of colour to her cheeks, and his mother’s rubies stood in stark contrast to the fairness of her neck.

When he forced his attention from his wife, he turned in time to witness the slight tilt of Jane’s head and her soft smile. The expression was similar to one she had worn for Bingley, yet her eyes held a depth that was not present years ago when she had looked upon his friend. Richard’s gentle gaze held his betrothed’s eyes while he brushed a light kiss to the back of her hand. Tenderness was not a word he would have ever associated with his cousin, yet watching him with Jane, he witnessed a side of his cousin he had never known.

In that moment, his regrets about his part in Jane’s separation from Bingley disappeared entirely—that niggling in his gut that would not let him forget what he had cost her. Jane had found a love more fulfilling than what she could have ever had with the man who was once his close friend.

“Fitzwilliam?”

He turned to Elizabeth’s eyebrows drawn down a bit in the middle. “Forgive me. I am happy for them. She seems much happier with Richard than she was with Bingley.”

“She is,” said Elizabeth. “She has told me as much. The circumstances of the past few years have changed her, and she has wondered if Mr. Bingley would have resented her for Lydia’s downfall. Richard knows of everything—of Lydia and St. Giles—and still wants her. I do not know what they have spoken of, but she has indicated he has confided a great deal to her. She is honoured by his trust.” She studied his face for a moment. “You did give your consent, did you not?”

“Of course, I did. Richard is a good man and like a brother to me. I could not deny him love, particularly when I believe Jane is precisely what he needs.” He brushed his lips against her hand one more time before Butler interrupted to inform them the carriage had been brought around.

After donning their coats and hats, the gentlemen handed in their ladies before joining them, though sitting together since propriety dictated Jane and Elizabeth share a seat. The trip to the Theatre Royal was not a long one, so they soon alighted in front and helped the ladies dodge the remnants of the horses to enter the building.

Darcy removed his great coat, handing it to his waiting footman, before helping Elizabeth with her cape. Once his servant was in possession of their belongings, he hurried up to the boxes to await their party.

Under the light of the candles, Elizabeth glowed as those fine eyes that enchanted him looked up and down at the grandeur of the new theatre that had replaced the former, which burned in 1809. His eyes traced over her now full head of auburn curls, which allowed Taylor to use jewelled pins, combs, and ribbons to give her a more stylish coiffure. Tonight, Taylor used a crimson ribbon to match the hue of Elizabeth’s gown.

“Shall we make our way to the boxes?” asked Richard with Jane on his arm.

Darcy looked around at a sea of people, some of whom were noting his entrance and examining Elizabeth in great detail as she had her hand upon his arm. “I believe so.”

One or two acquaintances stopped them along the way. Darcy politely introduced Elizabeth, and since most knew Richard, he introduced Jane as his cousin’s betrothed, raising more than a few eyebrows in the process. They had barely reached the staircase when a hand grasped Darcy’s arm and whipped him around.

“Have you so little respect, boy?”

He ensured Elizabeth was well, then stiffened, drawing himself as tall as he could. “I beg your pardon, Lord Fitzwilliam. Is there a problem?”

“A problem?” His uncle hissed spraying spittle in the process. “I bring you suitable candidates to be your wife, and you choose this chit?” Lord Fitzwilliam’s eyes raked over Elizabeth as though she were covered in filth. “Have you forgotten what you owe your family? What you owe me?” People around them halted their conversations to watch the spectacle with eager eyes, and no doubt, storing away what was said to gossip about during their calls on the morrow. 

“I told you years ago I would not agree to your marriage schemes. I wed my wife with nothing but my own happiness and that of hers in mind. I owe you nothing.” He needed to rid himself of his uncle, even though the earl was only making himself appear the fool.

“What of—?”

“No more,” said Darcy with a firmness that made his uncle clamp his mouth shut. “I have told no one of the breach between our houses, but your display of ill-temper tonight should have tongues wagging for weeks. Do you wish all and sundry to know why I have broken with you?”

His uncle peered over one shoulder then the other. “This is not over, Darcy.”

Darcy chuckled and leaned closer to the earl. “This is indeed over. You tend to your house, and I shall tend to mine. While you are doing so, you might spend less time at the club playing cards. I believe you have enough of Carlisle’s and his wife’s gambling debts to pay.”

Lord Fitzwilliam turned a brilliant shade of red that nearly matched the colour of Elizabeth’s gown before Darcy turned his back and started to lead his party up the stairs.

“You,” said the earl in a sneer.

Richard gave no indication of disquiet nor did he bow. “My Lord, I am here with my cousin and betrothed.” He rested a hand atop Jane’s on his arm. “Miss Bennet, this man is my father the Earl Fitzwilliam. He will never be admitted into our homes.”

“You will not marry that trollop!” All talk within the room silenced as the few who had not already been taking in the spectacle turned to watch. “I forbid it.”

Jane’s hand slid into Richard’s as he stepped down so he was face to face with his father. “Forbid my marriage all you wish. You will not stop me, and I shall never wed someone of your choosing. In that, Darcy and I are of precisely the same mind. You have attempted to twist and bend the will of your family until we act as you desire. By joining the Regulars, I removed myself from your machinations long ago, and while I am now your heir, I refuse to be controlled by you.”

Richard turned his back on his father and drew Jane beside him as they ascended the stairs. The crowd began to murmur, surely shocked at what had just occurred. They may have attended for “The Taming of the Shrew,” but they had an earlier offering that would be spoken of in the drawing rooms around London for weeks if not months, particularly in light of the common knowledge of Lady Fitzwilliam’s solitary living arrangement.

They were quiet until they reached the box, but the moment the curtain fell behind them, Richard dragged Jane back into the dim recesses and took her in his arms. When Darcy glanced about the theatre, a few people sat in their boxes or in their seats below, but the vast majority were still in the entrance hall. He looked back to see Richard’s head on Jane’s shoulder while she whispered into his ear.

He steered Elizabeth so they stood in front of his cousin and her sister, blocking them from the general view of the theatre. “I apologise for my uncle’s spectacle.” His uncle had never been one to enjoy the theatre, and he had never expected his uncle to confront them in such a public manner. The earl’s concern over appearances typically overrode his affront, so tonight’s exhibition was not something he ever imagined would take place in the theatre or anywhere else.

“You have nothing to apologise for,” said Elizabeth in hushed tones. “Will Richard be well?”

“I am certain he will. He abhors what his father is and avoids him as does Lady Fitzwilliam.” At her crinkled forehead, he moved so his mouth was near her ear. “It is common knowledge among the Ton that my uncle lives with his mistress. My aunt insisted he go years ago, and he has never returned—not that she is amenable.”

Elizabeth blinked rapidly for a few seconds and shook her head. “What a shame. He will one day have no one but himself for comfort.”

“He has no one to blame but himself,” said Richard as he and Jane joined them. “Forgive me. I fear my father and I shall never see eye to eye. Darcy’s father took me in when I left home and Pemberley was where I returned from Cambridge as well as where I returned when I had leave from the military. Darcy, Georgiana, and my mother are my family. Before Jane, I was unsure if I would ever trust someone enough to have a marriage like my Uncle and Aunt Darcy or even you and Darcy. When he threatened that, I—”

Elizabeth squeezed his cousin’s hand and shook her head. “You need not explain yourself to me. Jane seems to know all and that is what is most important. We shall make the announcement of your betrothal in the paper, and the two of you will wed by special license like Fitzwilliam and I did.” She tipped her head down to ensure Richard met her eye. “Do not let him ruin our evening.”

“Thank you, Lizzy,” said Jane, who hugged Richard’s arm to her.

Darcy drew his wife back to his side and kissed her temple. He cared not if all of the Ton called him besotted. He was, after all. “I do not believe my uncle will carry through on his threats, but we should send the betrothal announcement tomorrow. We will also obtain the license. Georgiana and Witney return to town in two days.”

Elizabeth smiled. “I can plan a simple wedding breakfast in two days.”

He nodded. “Good, I say the sooner we have them wed, the better.”

Tell me what you think!!

Happy Monday! I promised once Agony and Hope had been released for a bit, I’d post an outtake for you! I have always said it is a HEA story, but just in case SPOILER WARNING, if you haven’t read it. Just to set up the scene–this takes place during the trip back to London to reveal all to the Gardiners and the other HEA bits. This is from the first draft, so it has not gone through editing and a bit rough. The story was also a bit different at the time so I’ve had to adapt it to fit the newer timeline. I hope you enjoy!

A Call to Mrs. Bennet

Elizabeth’s temple rested against the squabs while the scenery passed through the carriage window. They had not tarried at Drayton for long after the betrothal. The following day, Fitzwilliam had sent out letters arranging their travel and requesting the Gardiner’s company at Darcy House for dinner within the next se’nnight after their return. They had departed as soon as the horses had their rest and were, at last, on their final day of travel. As much as Elizabeth had wished to either remain at Drayton or start their lives at Pemberley, she had no choice but to go to town, though she had not relished the prospect of their return journey. She was weary of travel.

Her stomach rolled at the idea of revealing herself to her aunt and uncle, and she pressed a hand to her belly to quell the unrest. The disquiet within, however, was not caused by the nervousness of telling them, but rather, their possible reaction to the shocking news. They would be upset, to be sure, but would they forgive her? She and Jane had worried them and cost them some much needed funds investigating their disappearance. Her uncle’s children were more entitled to that money than the Bennet daughters, which was why Elizabeth and Jane had hidden themselves away in the first place. The Gardiners should not have been forced to bear the cost of their impoverished family. Elizabeth loved her father dearly, but his failings as head of the family had not gone unnoticed.

Elizabeth faced forward where her betrothed of four days sat across from her, reading Milton. The night before they departed, he had mentioned how she proved a most effective distraction from his reading, and how, when in her company, he had attempted to read passages more than once without a pittance of success. At the moment, he appeared engrossed in the prose upon the page instead of her. Was she still a distraction or had their engagement been the antidote to his affliction?

She bit her lip and smiled as she slid her foot forward to tap Fitzwilliam’s boot. At the contact, he glanced to Jane and Richard who both slept against the side of the carriage, closed his book, and lifted his eyebrows. The stiff edge of his boot grazed her ankle. “What are you about, Miss Elizabeth?” He spoke in soft tones.

“How do you get on reading today, sir?”

One side of his lips quirked and he shook his head. “Not at all. I must discover how to free myself of this interference. Do you have any ideas for my relief?”

“I can think of several, sir.” How she would adore kissing him again! The mere thought was enough to give her gooseflesh.

“Can you?” He crossed his arms over his chest. “And what do you suggest?”

“Perhaps using second carriage for your cousin and future sister,” said Richard dryly. He had not opened his eyes or moved his head. “Then, we would not be forced to endure listening your flirtatious drivel.” Elizabeth started, pulled back her walking boot, and directed her attention back to the passing scenery. How mortifying! She would not have engaged Fitzwilliam in such a way if she had known Richard could hear.

“You could have mentioned you were awake instead of eavesdropping,” said Fitzwilliam.

Richard straightened and rolled his eyes. “You know I cannot read in a moving carriage, which leaves me little to do for pleasure. I sometimes prefer to keep my eyes closed and rest when I cannot find sleep. I have made this journey often and no longer obtain enjoyment from watching the woods and farmland pass by the window.”

As they passed an inn, Elizabeth frowned and followed the building until it disappeared from her line of sight. “Fitzwilliam? Are we in Hatfield?”

He peered through the window and shrugged. “I am not sure, but we should be in Hertfordshire.”

“I know where we are. I rode with Papa once to fetch a book he wanted from a bookseller in Hatfield. This is not the road one usually travels to journey to London.” She narrowed her eyes. “Are we going to Longbourn?”

He sighed and his shoulders dropped a bit. “No, but I did plan our final stop for Meryton. I meant to surprise you. The horses could rest, and you and Jane could see your mother and sister before we continue our journey.”

“Mama?” Jane sat up. “We are to visit Mama?”

“Yes, unless you would rather not.” His eyes darted back and forth between them. “We can bypass Meryton and stop at the next village.”

Elizabeth reached forward and took his hand. “This was incredibly thoughtful of you. Thank you. We should tell Mama in person. I am ashamed for not considering her.” He squeezed her hand in return.

“I thought of Mama.” They all looked at Jane who sighed. “I do care for my mother’s feelings, yet I feel guiltier about deceiving Uncle Gardiner than Mama. We were his responsibility, and he was left to tell Mama of our disappearance, pay for the investigators, then inform her of our death. He and our aunt have always loved us like their own children and were likely beside themselves with worry and grief. I do not mean to belittle my mother’s feelings, but my concern lay more with speaking to our aunt and uncle than Mama. I thought after speaking to them, I would request we travel to Meryton if no one else made mention of it.”

Elizabeth took a deep breath as she sat back in the seat. Their first day of reckoning would come sooner than she had initially planned, but her mother would not be as difficult. Mama would moan and complain of her nerves, but would, no doubt, forgive them—particularly when Elizabeth introduced Fitzwilliam as her betrothed. She only hoped Francis Bennet would not faint dead away upon hearing the happy news. She chewed on her lip. What if her mother began raving about Fitzwilliam’s wealth? She stiffened at the thought.

Something tapped her walking boot, making her jump. “Stop fretting,” said Fitzwilliam. “I remember your mother well.”

Jane nudged Elizabeth’s shoulder. “Perhaps we should purchase salts prior to our call.” After laughing at Jane’s comment, the carriage became eerily quiet as though they were to attend a funeral rather than resurrecting a loved one from the ashes.

The miles dragged by until they alighted in front of the Cross Keys inn. Fitzwilliam offered Elizabeth his arm, and they walked in the direction of Longbourn, though they stopped well before at a small but well-tended cottage at the edge of the village.

Her eyes roved over the façade, which boasted a newly thatched roof evident by the fresh straw colour of the reeds and sedge. “How do you know where they live?

“Your uncle told me of it the evening I learnt of your death.” She gripped Fitzwilliam’s elbow and shook her free arm in an attempt to dispel some of her nerves. 

Richard unlatched the gate and held it open. “So, shall we go in or shall we stand here for the next hour or two and speak of the weather?” When they approached the door, Jane knocked then grasped Elizabeth’s free hand.

The door opened a crack and a familiar face peeked through before it swung the remainder of the way. “Miss Bennet! Miss Elizabeth! Oh! Bless my soul!”

“Hello, Mrs. Hill,” said Elizabeth. “I was not aware you stayed with Mama. Are you and Mr. Hill well?”

The housekeeper hurried them inside. “Yes, Mr. Hill and I are very well, thank you. I am relieved to see you young ladies hale and standing before me.” Her eyes flickered to Fitzwilliam and Richard before the latter requested they be introduced.

Jane moved to stand beside Mrs. Hill. “Mr. Darcy, you may remember Mrs. Hill? She was our housekeeper at Longbourn.” She held her hand in the direction of Fitzwilliam. “Mr. Darcy and my sister were lately engaged.”

The woman’s eyes widened to the size of horse chestnuts. “Thank the Lord I bought more salts this week.” She bent closer to Elizabeth. “You had best ensure your mother is sitting when you tell her the news. That way, you need not catch her when she faints.”

“Mrs. Hill,” said Jane who gestured towards Richard. “This gentleman is Viscount Carlisle, Mr. Darcy’s cousin.”

“My Lord,” said Mrs. Hill with a bobbed curtsey. “Let me show you to the parlour. I shall not introduce you since I am certain you will want to tell your mother yourself.” She opened the first door in the entry and held out an arm, gesturing for them to enter. Elizabeth and Jane shared a glance before her sister stepped inside with Elizabeth bracing herself before following. 

“Hill, when will you bring tea? We always have tea at one.” Her mother never looked up from her needlework until she let her hand holding the frame drop into her lap. “Hill—” As soon as her eyes set upon her two eldest, she gasped then gaped for at least a minute before she swayed in her seat.

“Mama!” They rushed to their mother’s side and knelt at her feet. “’Tis truly us,” said Elizabeth. “We hid from Uncle Gardiner so he would not need to support us.”

When she still did not speak, Jane took the embroidery from her and clutched her hands. “Mama, will you not say something?”

“Your uncle said you were dead. When I first saw you, I thought you had come to take me.”

Elizabeth’s hands joined Jane’s. “No, we are not dead. Unfortunately, we did lead Uncle to believe us to be. We are terribly sorry for causing you pain, but Uncle could not afford to support us all, regardless of how he wished he could.” Elizabeth waved Fitzwilliam and his cousin inside the room. “Mama, do you remember Mr. Darcy?” No matter what she and Jane said, with the exception of the one sentence, her mother sat in stunned silence. Her sister shrugged at the uncharacteristic behaviour. Was this to be the extent of their visit? Surely there had to be some way of snapping her from this stupor.

She stood, wrapped her fingers around Fitzwilliam’s arm, and held out her hand to show off a ring Fitzwilliam had given her to mark their betrothal. “Mr. Darcy asked me to marry him. Is that not wonderful.”

At the mention of his name, Richard stepped beside Fitzwilliam and bowed. “Mrs. Bennet, ’tis a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Her mother blinked, looked to Fitzwilliam, then to Richard. She extended an arm and pointed at Elizabeth’s hand. Elizabeth held it out as her mother peered down at the ring. When she lifted her head, she still appeared dazed until without warning, she clasped her hands together. “Thank heavens! We are saved! Hill! Where is that tea?” She began waving a handkerchief that appeared out of nowhere. “Oh! What a good girl you are? And so clever!” Her mother stopped flapping the bit of muslin long enough to wink in an overdramatic fashion.

Elizabeth’s eyes bulged. What? Oh Lord! Her mother could not possibly be implying—

“I suppose he is marrying you because you are with child. Of course, every gentleman wants an heir.” Richard began coughing as though he were choking. “At the assembly, they said his income was ten-thousand pounds!” She enunciated Fitzwilliam’s income. In that moment, Elizabeth wished to shrink to the size of an ant, if such a thing were possible. “Ten-thousand pounds! And so handsome! Oh! I shall go distracted. Where are my salts? Hill! Hillllll!”

Elizabeth turned her head into Fitzwilliam’s arm and closed her eyes. Her mother thought she hid to become Fitzwilliam’s mistress. She would die of shame.

“Mrs. Bennet,” said Fitzwilliam, “I was as shocked as you when I discovered your daughters were alive. I loved your daughter when I stayed at Netherfield three years ago, but I never declared myself. I meant to when I happened upon Elizabeth visiting my estate with her aunt and uncle a year later, but they departed Derbyshire before I could propose. The Gardiners told me of her disappearance when all was for naught. When I found her last month, I decided I could not rest until she was my bride. I would never make her an improper offer. I beg you not to insult either of us by implying otherwise.”

How Elizabeth wanted to take his face in her hands and kiss him most improperly! Her mother’s mouth opened and closed before her jaw snapped shut. 

Fitzwilliam’s body shifted slightly and a kiss was bestowed to her temple. “I love you,” he whispered near her ear. “We shall be gone for London soon.”

Elizabeth lifted her head to meet his eye. “Thank you.”

Mrs. Bennet began to fan her handkerchief once more. “Then I suppose you have come for Jane,” she said looking to the viscount. “Oh! I knew she could not be so beautiful for nothing. A viscount! Hillllll!”

Mrs. Hill bustled in with the tea service, set it on the table, then wafted a small jar of salts before Mrs. Bennet’s nose. Their mother flinched and began shaking that ridiculous scrap of cloth.

“Mama,” said Jane, “where is Kitty?”

“She went to visit my sister. She was supposed to return before tea.” She turned wide eyes on her callers. “You will stay for tea, will you not?” She began spooning the crushed leaves into the pot until with a swift movement, she looked at Jane then Elizabeth. “Why do you stand there so? And why are you still wearing bonnets? Sit!” She giggled as she continued her preparations. “Lady Lucas will be so jealous. I will have Mr. Darcy and very likely a viscount for sons when she has only Mr. Collins.” 

Jane sat upon the small settee. “Has Maria never married?”

“She is betrothed to the youngest Goulding boy.” She gave a sniff. “He is a cleric.”

“A cleric is quite respectable,” said Elizabeth.

“He is no viscount nor is he worth ten-thousand a year.” Their mother pressed her palms together as if she were praying. “Lady Carlisle.” The words were said in almost a reverent whisper. “How well that sounds!”

“La! The two of you have been alive all this time? What a joke!” The entire room pivoted to Kitty who stood in the doorway. “And Mr. Darcy? What is he doing here?”

Mrs. Bennet nodded her head in Elizabeth’s direction. “He and Lizzy are to be married, and Jane marry Lord Carlisle.” The last was said reverently and with dreamy eyes aimed at Richard, who stepped back and stood half-way between her mother and the door, as one might do when considering a swift escape.

“We are not even courting, Mama.”

“Oh!” She gave a dismissive flick of her wrist. “You are as good as married. I am certain of it.”

Kitty skipped to the window and plunked into the closest chair. “If Jane has returned, then I need not live with Uncle Gardiner as she can live with them and help with the children.” Elizabeth had hoped Kitty had matured without Lydia’s influence, but her hopes seemed to have been in vain.

Mama exhaled dramatically. “No, you will go. Your uncle can afford you much better than me, and with your sister’s betrothals, you will be thrown into the paths of rich men. ’Tis a shame you aren’t as agreeable as Lydia or beautiful as Jane, but look at Mary. If she can capture a man of reasonable wealth, so can you.”

Elizabeth gripped Fitzwilliam’s arm, her fingernails digging into the wool of his topcoat. “We should be returning to the inn. The horses will have been changed by now.” 

“I am sure they have.” Fitzwilliam took her mother’s hand and bowed. “Pray, forgive the brevity of our call, but we did want to inform you of the good health of your daughters in person.”

“Mama, we are to dine with our aunt and uncle this week. We plan to tell them then,” said Jane as Richard helped her stand. “We would appreciate you not write to Aunt of our visit for the time being.”

Their mother huffed and flattened her lips. “But I may tell the local families?”

Elizabeth suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. “Yes, you may.”Her mother allowed a smug smile and clasped her hands, her shoulders lifting with the motion. “Lady Carlisle! How well that sounds!” Was that Jane who had groaned?

So, was Mrs. Bennet’s behavior mortifying? I bet Jane and Elizabeth think so!

If you haven’t read Agony and Hope, it is currently available on Kindle, Kindle Unlimited, and paperback!

Happy Thursday, everyone! It’s been a crazy week. We find out we’re moving… AGAIN! And, Agony and Hope is released! I’d like to thank everyone who helped get my book baby out: Carol, who edited it, Debbie and Brenna for proofreading, my ARC readers, and then everyone who has purchased and reviewed it. What a roller coaster!

This book started in my head years ago with the scene of Jane showing up at Darcy’s door. The scenario flitted back into my mind from time to time. I would let it play out but I never sat down to start writing it out until late last year. The injury to my back slowed my writing down a lot and created a lot of inconsistencies that I had to go back and fix once I’d written the entire thing. I’d changed names and all sorts of problems. The ending was also longer. I have a scene that was cut that I will rework and post later. The ending was changed in editing, so I’ll have to do a bit of tweaking to it so I don’t contradict the published story.

Anyway, I will see what I can spruce up from my original manuscript to give you a bit more over the next couple of weeks. I’m trying to flesh out a new story, so we’ll see when and what I can come up with.

In the meantime, thank you for all of your kind words on Agony and Hope, and if you haven’t read it yet, what are you waiting for? Go read!!

Release day is tomorrow! I hope you have preordered your Kindle or ordered your paperback so you can get reading! We have one more small excerpt posting on Austen Variations tomorrow during the release day celebration. If you have missed the previews, you can catch up by clicking for the previous chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Blurb:

“I have endured the deepest agony, only to be shown a hope so bright I cannot but yearn for it.”

Fitzwilliam Darcy is mourning the love he lost—a love that was never allowed to bloom. What will become of him when Georgiana is wed, and he is left by himself? He cannot give away a heart not his own. Must he remain in this mournful existence, anticipating the nights to come, where in his dreams, he can finally be with Elizabeth, a spectre of his once living, breathing beloved. When a surprise visitor brings unexpected news, his hope is breathed back to life. Will he finally obtain his deepest desires? Will Fitzwilliam Darcy be able to leave behind the agony of the past and hope for the future he once thought impossible?

Due to circumstances beyond her control, Elizabeth Bennet’s family is irrevocably altered. Her father is dead, Lydia is missing, and her mother and remaining sisters are to be relegated to a life of poverty. Fitzwilliam Darcy’s behaviour at Pemberley indicates he still loves her, but too much has happened. She can never hope for him to once again make the offer of his hand. Elizabeth’s sole option is to abandon the life she once led and start anew. But what happens when her path once again crosses with the love she thought lost to her? Will Elizabeth choose to protect him with the one option available to her or will she put aside the agony of the past and choose hope?

There are also reviews! One is already posted on Amazon, but you can find all 4 of the early reviews posted on Goodreads 🙂 I hope you’ll also write your review once you’ve read it!

Hey, if you still haven’t preordered it, then do so here!

So, let’s talk specifics… and maybe a few vague hints!

The most common concern when people read the initial chapters is whether there is a HEA. Yes, there is a HEA!

I’ve been asked if there is steam. Yes, there is chemistry and steam, but no sex scenes. Sorry to those who enjoy those, but they didn’t fit with the storyline. For those who prefer stories without that sort of content, this will work for you!

How long is the book? Paperback is 266 pages. It’s just under 70K words.

Do you have a Pinterest inspiration board for this one? Yes! You can find it here.

Will there be a giveaway? Yes! I will have a few ebooks to giveaway tomorrow at Austen Variations!

So, do you have any other questions I can answer? Ask them below, but know that I may choose not to answer 😉

IfIf

As we’re all probably aware, medicine in the Regency Period left little to be desired in terms of treatments and success rates. We’ve all heard of bleedings and treatments containing everything from arsenic to mercury, but what were some of the medical terms and treatments?

Apoplexy is a term we hear or read a lot in terms of Regency illnesses. When used in a historical context, apoplexy refers to a death preceded by a loss of consciousness, which can be a bit of a catch-all. A person may die of a stroke, massive heart attack, or simply a sudden death by another means and be lumped under apoplexy. Today, apoplexy is used more as a scientific term for bleeding.

Grippe is a term that was a term used for influenza and refers to the constriction of the throat felt by some sufferers. Influenza was thought to be caused by “bad air” and a medical writer of the time, William Buchan, cautioned of hot air. He claimed the hot air dissipated the watery parts of the blood and caused ‘bilious and inflammatory fevers’.

Unfortunately, for those with apoplexy, little could be done, but for those who suffered from other illnesses, where there any reasonable treatments? Apothecaries could dispense tinctures, but a few common remedies did exist. We’ve all heard of the opiate laudanum used for pain. Laudanum, of course, was very addictive, despite its efficacy.

In 1757, Reverend Edward Stone experimented with white willow bark. He dried it, ground it into a powder, and took it in an effort to determine whether it would reduce pain and fever. White willow bark contains Salicin, which is an active part of aspirin. In 1763, he wrote to the Royal Society to report his success with the experiment. For those who were reluctant to rely on laudanum for pain, willow bark offered a suitable alternative as well as a method of controlling fever.

If the patient could sit up and swallow, their caregivers could use an invalid’s cup or feeder cup to help keep them hydrated and nourished with teas and broths. An invalid’s cup resembled a small tea pot without a lid. Some were constructed like tea cups or some of the time period could be made of silver.

Luigi Valadier – Invalid’s Cup 1770-80 Italy – Public Domain – Courtesy of The Met
Public

Decent medical treatments almost seem crazy when we consider many medical men of the Regency period favored what they called “heroic medicine,” which included aggressive bloodletting, vomiting, intestinal purging, sweating and blistering. Sounds pleasant, doesn’t it?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apoplexy

https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=grippe

https://theconversation.com/hippocrates-and-willow-bark-what-you-know-about-the-history-of-aspirin-is-probably-wrong-148087

Todd, Janet & Blank, Antje (editors). The Cambridge Edition of Persuasion. Cambridge University Press (2006)

Wilson, KimTea with Jane Austen. Jones Books (2004)

How often are you reading a book and the author describes a Regency gown, only for you to scratch your head and wonder what they mean? We all have a basic knowledge of what a Regency gown looks like, but just like today, the trends changed a bit from year to year. I don’t know about you, but when I read a Regency romance, sometimes I have no idea what certain terms are or mean and I have to look them up. I thought today we’d have some fun with Regency fashion terms. I hope you enjoy 🙂

Let’s start with a couple of terms I use in Agony and Hope (Available on preorder here!):

Shot Sarsnet – A thin silk with a slight sheen woven with multiple colors, which gives it an iridescence. Sarsnet is also sometimes spelled sarcenet. Shot sarsnet was also sometimes called “shot silk.”

Mameluke Sleeves – Long sleeves divided into several puffs by thin ribbons or bands.

Detachable sleeves sound very modern, but were quite common in Regency times. A gown would have a detailed short sleeve with a sheer long-sleeve that attached over it. There is a lovely example on my Pinterst page for Agony and Hope here.

Sprigged Muslin – a lightweight white cotton embroidered or woven with a pattern.

Regency color palettes were rather specific and could change from year to year depending upon which colors were fashionable.

Primrose – pale yellow

Celestial blue – sky blue (also called Ethereal blue)

Cerulean blue – Azure blue

Pomona – Apple green

Heliotrope – A pink-purple hue, or lavender

I hope you enjoyed this little foray into fashion. I always enjoy finding new terms to better describe what’s in my head. Thanks for reading!

Happy Thursday! I’m pulling another old short out of the vault for your reading fun. This is just a bit of silliness that I thought you might enjoy. Don’t forget Agony and Hope’s release day is June 15! Preorder your copy now!

Charlotte Collins First Anniversary

“Charlotte!” called Mr. Collins, slamming the front door and panting as his feet could be heard trotting down the entry.

Startled from her occupation by the commotion, Charlotte Collins’ eyes widened as she peered at the clock on the mantle. One o’clock! He had only left to call on Lady Catherine at half twelve. Why was he home so soon?

“Charlotte!” He hastened into the room and stopped a few paces from where she sat at her escritoire. “There you are!”

She tucked Lizzy’s letter within a Radcliffe novel, and placed a hand to her lower back as she made to awkwardly lift her body, heavy with child, from her chair. “I just finished my note to Maria.” She set her fingers on a letter that rested upon the dark oak. “I intend to walk into Hunsford to post it before I call upon Mrs. Hervey.”

A pleased expression overtook his countenance as he nodded. “You have indeed proven yourself the active, useful sort of gentlewoman Lady Catherine requested I take as my bride. As I told my dear Cousin Elizabeth when she visited last spring, ‘You and I have but one mind and one way of thinking. We seem to have been designed for each other.’”

Charlotte opened her mouth to speak, but before she could utter a word, he began again.

“Of course, my cousin’s aspirations should not have been as high as she wed. Lady Catherine…”

“Speaking of Lady Catherine,” interrupted Charlotte, before he prattled on. “You have returned early from Rosings today. Was Lady Catherine displeased with something?”

He started and began to shake his head with fervour. “Oh no! Her ladyship has been most gracious and bestowed great condescension by instructing me to spend the day with you.” He grasped her hands and held them in his sweaty palms. “She was only displeased that we were apart on our first wedding anniversary.”

Oh no! No! No! No! Charlotte cocked her head a bit and stared. “She what?” she asked faintly. ”But what about Mrs. Hervey?”

He took on a solemn mien and nodded. “I had heard she was grave—very grave indeed, but I am certain she will be fine until the morrow.”

“But, that will not do. Her daughter sent a servant this morning to ensure you would come by today.”

Mr. Collins bobbed his head. “Do not fret so. I will call and condole with the poor woman’s family.”

As she disguised a sigh, she waddled towards the door, picked up his walking stick, and held it out for him. “Perhaps you should go now, then I will call upon her on the morrow.” Just maybe she could finish Lizzy’s letter before she walked into town!

Mr. Collins took the proffered walking stick and returned it to the corner beside the front door. “You do me credit, my dear, but I intend to visit Mrs. Hervey in the morning.”

He could not truly mean to follow her around, could he? With a smile to herself, she gestured toward the window. “I suppose you have some work in your garden? Or you could check on your bees.”

Her husband tugged her back to the parlour, retrieved her spencer and bonnet, and helped her to don them. “You mentioned posting a letter to your sister, so I will be happy to escort you into town.” His voice lowered as he muttered to himself, “Yes, Lady Catherine will be very pleased.”

Charlotte rolled her eyes, and then batted his hands away when he began to fasten the buttons for her.

“Forgive me. I only meant to be of aid.”

If only his eyes would look up to hers as she spoke, but they remained on her décolletage until it was covered. He offered her his arm, and once he fetched his hat and walking stick, led her down the road towards town, prattling on about Lady Catherine, Anne deBourgh, and Rosings with barely a pause for breath.

After they posted the missive to Maria, Mr. Collins took her to the booksellers where he selected and purchased a copy of Fordyce’s sermons.

“Mr. Collins, you own that volume, do you not?” she asked.

“Indeed, I do. Your memory is as astute as always, my dear.”

When the proprietor handed him the wrapped parcel, he held it out to her. “I thought you would like a copy of your very own. That way, you might consult his great work without the worry of borrowing mine.”

“Thank you.” Charlotte attempted not to display her distaste for the gift. After all, she might not be romantic, but Fordyce?

He led her from the store, and she pointed in the direction of Briarworth. “I should still like to call on Mrs. Hervey.”

“But, my dear Charlotte, as much as it grieves me to consider the plight of poor Mrs. Hervey, I was specifically told by Lady Catherine to attend no one but you for the entire day! She will be seriously displeased! Charlotte!”

She set off walking and did not stop at his calls, so her husband followed, his protests not ending until they reached the front gardens of the Hervey estate where she admonished him to be quiet lest the Herveys hear him; however, once the housekeeper answered the door, he was all simpering flattery and proclaimed how the great Lady Catherine insisted he condole with them upon that very day.

Charlotte had a reprieve from his attentions while he spoke with Mr. Hervey, Mrs. Hervey’s children, and finally Mrs. Hervey. Their call kept them at Briarworth for close to an hour before they took their leave.

Mr. Collins did not reprimand his wife for her insistence upon the call as they walked home, but expounded on about how pleased his noble patroness would be. “We were together, which was part of her benevolent instruction. She can find no fault in our call! Indeed, our attentiveness to one of our flock should be most appreciated.

Under the guise of following a bird in flight, Charlotte turned her head so she could roll her eyes. They were not far from the parsonage. She ached to sit and rest; her ankles could not take much more.

No peace could be found, even upon their return home. Once she refreshed herself, she took a seat on the sofa her Radcliffe novel in hand with every intention of finishing Lizzy’s letter, but Mr. Collins entered soon after desirous to read to her from her anniversary gift.

With a start, she awoke as the light from the windows was beginning to dim. A glance to her husband revealed he was still seated beside her, a shocked expression upon his face.

“Please forgive me,” she blurted, wiping the drool from her chin. “I had not intended to fall asleep. The walk into town must have been more tiring than I expected.”

A simpering smile overtook his features as he gave a nod. “I am certain the exertion of carrying our child is to blame. Do not fear, my dear Charlotte. I am by no means upset by your ill-timed nap. I will have to ensure you retire early.”

He placed the book on the side table, stood, and offered her his hand. “Cook has sent word that our dinner is served. We should partake of it before it becomes cold.”

Dinner was a quiet affair—on her part anyway. Mr. Collins prattled on as was his wont for the entirety of the meal, only stopping when there was too much food in his mouth to continue. Then he would swallow and begin again.

After the meal, she anticipated he would wish to adjourn to his study to further prepare his sermon, but he insisted upon playing backgammon until it was time to retire.

Alone at last, Mrs. Collins revelled in the peace and quiet of her chamber as she sat upon her bed, lifted her feet, and sighed at the sight of her painfully swollen ankles. She pulled her legs under the bedclothes and reclined back into the pillows. What a relief a good night’s sleep would bring! Everything would be set to rights on the morrow; it would no longer be her anniversary.

Her eyes closed, and she was just drifting to sleep when a knock sounded from the door to Mr. Collins room.

“Charlotte?”

Oh no! No! No! No!

As you’ve probably noticed, I’ve been playing with some of my book covers and updating them a bit. First off, don’t worry! I didn’t change much about An Unwavering Trust’s cover. I just saw this lovely Regency lady in a photo and thought she would look perfect walking down the path. I hope you agree. The new cover should be up on Amazon and Audible by now.

Don’t forget to tune in here tomorrow for the next chapter of Agony and Hope!! Click here to Preorder!!

Kindle Cover
Paperback!
Audiobook!

It’s a busy time of year! School is wrapping up, people are making their summer plans, and I’m furiously editing a book. If you haven’t checked out the preview of Chapter 1 & Chapter 2 at Austen Variations, click on the chapter to give it a read! In the meantime, what can I tell you without giving away vital bits of the book. I can give you one hint with the blurb!

“I have endured the deepest agony, only to be shown a hope so bright I cannot but yearn for it.”

Fitzwilliam Darcy is mourning the love he lost—a love that was never allowed to bloom. What will become of him when Georgiana is wed, and he is left by himself? He cannot give away a heart not his own. Must he remain in this mournful existence, anticipating the nights to come, where in his dreams, he can finally be with Elizabeth, a spectre of his once living, breathing beloved. When a surprise visitor brings unexpected news, his hope is breathed back to life. Will he finally obtain his deepest desires? Will Fitzwilliam Darcy be able to leave behind the agony of the past and hope for the future he once thought impossible?

Due to circumstances beyond her control, Elizabeth Bennet’s family is irrevocably altered. Her father is dead, Lydia is missing, and her mother and remaining sisters are to be relegated to a life of poverty. Fitzwilliam Darcy’s behaviour at Pemberley indicates he still loves her, but too much has happened. She can never hope for him to once again make the offer of his hand. Elizabeth’s sole option is to abandon the life she once led and start anew. But what happens when her path once again crosses with the love she thought lost to her? Will Elizabeth choose to protect him with the one option available to her or will she put aside the agony of the past and choose hope?

The book is just under 70K words but because of the timeline of the story, there is a bit of steam but no explicit scenes. We’ll just have to see what unfolds. I hope you’re up for it!

Release date is June 15!

Next week’s chapter will post here on Tuesday!

Have you ever heard of the 1811 Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue? Captain Francis Grose wandered the dockyards and slums of London during the late night hours collecting slang words he compiled into a book that is as much a history reference as it is an amusing romp through the myriad of ways to call someone stupid or a whore. According to a BBC article on the subject, Grose loved anything rude, so if the word had any sexual connotation, it would be included. I’ve occasionally looked for fun words in Grose’s work, though usually for Colonel Fitzwilliam. I think he would’ve heard more of these words during his forays with the Regulars than Darcy would at White’s.

Today, we have a bit of fun with a Vulgar Vocabulary Lesson. May you use your newfound knowledge wisely 😉

ARSY YARSEY. To fall arsy varsey, i.e. head over heels.

BASTARDLY GULLION. A bastard’s bastard.

PETTICOAT HOLD. One who has an estate during his wife’s life, called the apron−string hold.

CAPTAIN QUEERNABS. A shabby ill−dressed fellow.

DIRTY PUZZLE. A nasty slut

NIGMENOG. A very silly fellow

HORNIFIED. Cuckolded.

LOBCOCK. A large relaxed penis: also a dull inanimate fellow.

Hope you enjoyed today’s Vulgar Vocabulary Lesson! Can you pick out any words from Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue I have in my books? Just curious!

https://www.bbc.com/culture/article/20150916-the-vulgar-tongue-a-dictionary-of-filthy-words